Sunday, October 23, 2016

Gallons of Anal Ease Lube Fly Off The Shelves As Chicago Cubs Fans Celebrate NATIONAL LEAGUE PENNANT


Won for the ages: After years of waiting, suffering, Cubs in World Series

One drought down, one to go. Wrigleyville erupted in a joyous celebration Saturday night when the Cubs' 71-year World Series wait at long last came to an end. The Cubs sealed a date with the Indians in the 2016 Fall Classic, beginning Tuesday night in Cleveland.
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40 comments:

Old Pete (retired 023rd district Sgt.) said...

Ah yes. There will most certainly be a lot of sucking and fucking going on in the old Wrigleyville town tonight. Too bad they didn't win back in the 1970's when I was still a fan. Back before all the yuppies and faggots got personalized Cubs plates for their cars, and started anally molesting goats in an attempt to 'reverse the curse.'

Quick story: In October of 1975, I was drinking in the Cubby Bear bar. This was before it turned into the urban pioneer hot spot that it is now. This was when it was a dive bar and you didn't have to worry about large breasted women distracting the men from engaging in conversations about sports, war, politics, and the Catholic religion. Lo and behold, ol' Jack Brickhouse was drinking at a table by himself.

I was part of the 'Big Brother,' program at the time, and the 10 year old Chinese boy I was mentoring would have loved getting the legendary Jack Brickhouse's autograph. After engaging the old drunkard in some small talk, I politely asked him for his John Hancock on a beer coaster. When Brickhouse told me to buy him a beer and he would, my blood began to boil.

Some young, muscular, tanned, and fit Gaylord gang members were drinking up at the bar. They heard our conversation and started to laugh. One of the Gaylord lads informed me that this piece of shit announcer did this all the time. Brickhouse started laughing as well, and he pinched my rear end.

Embarrassed and ashamed, I proceeded to beat the fuck out of Brickhouse. After just two right crosses to the head, this meiser mother fucker crumpled to the floor in a heap. Then I gave him a couple of knee drops to his groin for good measure. As blood gurgled from the sides of his mouth, and he defacated his pants, the Gaylords cheered! I picked up my Davey Crocket coonskin cap off of the floor, dusted it off, then me and my new Gaylord friends went to paint the town red. Back then, cops and crooks hanged out all the time to trade information.

Anyhoo...sorry. This old man's mind tends to wander in his old age. If Dave Kingman was still playing he would shove his bat up one of these pussy yuppie cubs fans asses. God bless Bartman. What the Cubs fans did to him that sad, tragic night in 2003 was unforgivable.

Anonymous said...

Fuck the CUBS

Anonymous said...

Good luck to the Cubs and the poor cops who have to work these series games. Stay safe!

Aldo Raine said...

I hope the Cubs get their asses kicked completely. Fuck them and their Johnny-come-lately Fanbase. Bunch of posers that just want to be part of what's hot at the moment. FUCK THE CUBS!!

Anonymous said...

007 tac watched game at Bourbon street without tipping

Anonymous said...

Best comment I've ever seen!!!!

Anonymous said...

I don't use anal ease lube i get my asshole licked that's all i need before i take a nice hard cock up my ass.

Anonymous said...

is it true that jack was partial to "the Cleveland Steamer"???????

Anonymous said...

"Eggs Danny Thomas Style"

Look it up.

Anonymous said...

That's the least they could do. They had the best record in baseball after all.

Goat Curse said...

It's nice to get their hope's up.

Out of the car Motherfucker!! said...

Look for the HNIC Obama and his nigger buddies, Jesse Jackson, Bobby Rush and the rest of the fucking nigger officals including the fucking Jew Mayor to be at the WS games in Shitcago! and don't count out Mrs Clinton, phoney fucking CUNT ! Go ahead all you local fucking criminals, Tripple your hotel room rates make a piss warm beer at the ball park an even 10 bucks and why not a 10 dollar cold fucking hamburger?

Look for the cream of the fucking Democunts getting their mugs on TV!!! FUCK YOU!!!!

Anonymous said...

Whatever not a cubs fan

Anonymous said...

Now many negroes were shot while elebrating this historic victory?

Anonymous said...

Cubs fan=metro sexual

Anonymous said...

The Goat will Strike, when the Time is Right....

2005 White Sox said...

Ok Cub fans, let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet! You still have 4 games to win.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Hillary supporters. Doesn't matter she's a communist, queer, black muslim lover, the media loves her & her supporters.
Damn them all to Hell!
I hope I live long enough to see these stupid women Hillary supporters forced to wear burkkas, walk three steps behind "their" man and get the whippings allowed under sharia law. Stupid bitches!


J.J.

Anonymous said...

No fucks given. Oh, and to Old Pete (retired 023rd district Sgt.), your tales of homosexual adventures are really getting old. I'm sure there are plenty of gay blogs where you can share your disgusting tales.

Tom Dart's dirty My. Carmal sweater said...

Hey, does your mom still strap it on and fuck your poop shoot? Fucking pickle dick!

Tom Dart's dirty My. Carmal sweater said...

Sounds like tradition for a Sox's fan

Anonymous said...

IS IT TRUE THAT MURPHYS BLEACHERS HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A GAY BAR AND THE YOUNG MURPHY HAS COME OUT OF THE CLOSET,,,????RUMOUR ON SOUTH SIDE ,,,

Anonymous said...

Hey Old Pete,

You sound like my kind of Chicago guy. If I ever run into you I would be honored to buy you an Old Style or 2 and hear some more great stories of your days on the mean streets.

True story: I ran into Dave Kingman @ the bar of the Cubby Bear back around 1981. I was there with a buddy & Kingman had this beautiful hot babe with him. I went over to buy him a drink & he told me to "fuck off". For a few seconds I considered drawing my S&W service revolver and blowing his brains out all over the bar. Then I reconsidered and walked back to my Old Style & shot of Jim Beam. Those were the days, yes indeed.

Old Pete (retired 023rd District Sgt.) said...

If you don't like it, then don't read it. I shouldn't have to point out something to you that a 2 year old can understand. The only faggot I see is you. We all know your daddy made you wear a dress and pimped you out to his friends at the Moose Lodge.

Steve Bartman said...

You backwards hillBilly Fucks haven't seen a team win in 10 yrs, and thanks to lousy umpiring that was given to you.

This CUB team will outshine the 85 Bears when all is said and done.

Anonymous said...

That Chinese boy grew up to be Charles Ng.

Anonymous said...

Old Pete is not gay, you churl. He is ambiguously light in the loafers.

Anonymous said...

Old Pete kicks ASS!

Anonymous said...

I'm just kidding folks! I actually pinched Brickhouses posterior and got escorted out of the bar. That night, I met the love of my life (Lamar) who turned me onto the White Sox forever.

Anonymous said...

FCK you! I'm trying to find the courage to come out and he's helping!

Anonymous said...

Flying my L flag for the cubs.

Anonymous said...

What he said

Anonymous said...

I'm rooting for the goat to come through, again. As always.

Anonymous said...

The Cubs, America's Baseball Team, is GREAT for AMERICA! And Cubs-hater Sox fans are poster boys for Zika and costume parties in Brazil!

Anonymous said...

007 tac was in Englewood on beast hunt.
Another police shooting.
Police 1 , mr bourbon street black boyfriend 0.

Anonymous said...

Old Petes stories must bring out uncomfortable gay feelings from Oct 23rd 1150 am.
Too bad, closet queen
Old Pete is hilarious and clever unlike that dry unfunny tired one joke shtick bourbon street asshole

Anonymous said...

Outshine? Do they have more black players than the bears did?

The Keesing Bandit said...

I was so happy. I was celebrating on the streets also. It was great to be with tens of thousands of men who are just like me.

Now, kees me you fool!!!!

Anonymous said...

i will not wear a cubs shirt or hat,but i wont root against them. after working bulls,sox,hawks,bears and yes cubs series where we got rocks & bottles thrown at us, and had to deal with assholes. i hate all chicago sports teams because of ignorant fans and shitheads. bulls in the 90's in the ghetto was fun though.
Gangs South

Anonymous said...

He does a lot of things to ass.