Saturday, February 8, 2014

Man Responsible For Olympic Ring Mishap Found Dead In Sochi

PHOTO: Olympic Ring Fireworks Mishap 

The man responsible for operating the Olympic Rings during last night’s Winter Olympic Opening Ceremonies in Russia was found dead today.
According to local reports the body of T. Borris Avdeyev was found his hotel room early this morning with multiple stab wounds along with adult rubber novelty toys (dildos) found stuffed into his orifices.    
Avdeyev was a technical specialist responsible for the Olympic Ring spectacle, which embarrassingly malfunctioned last night. Five animatronic snowflakes were supposed to transform into Olympic Rings. The first four functioned properly but the fifth snowflake failed to change shape.
Although his body was badly mangled and the wounds were consistent with a struggle, so far officials say they don't suspect foul play.
“Sure there were stab wounds and bruises all over the body,” admits the lead investigator on the case, “But who knows what caused them. Maybe he tripped and fell on a set of knives. Right now we’re ruling this an accidental death.
“It’s terrible when accidents like this happen. But then again, maybe Mr. Avdeyev should have thought twice before he screwed up the Olympics. Accidents tend to happen to people who betray Russia.”
Despite the government’s story, fellow hotel guests reported hearing a struggle in Avdeyev’s room around 3am local time.
“There was a very loud noise last night,” Canadian bobsled member Guy Lafleur, who was staying two hotel rooms down, “I called the front desk but the phone didn't work so I went to the room where the sound was coming from and saw three big men leave the room.
I asked if there  was a problem and they told me to go back to my room. Then this morning I find out the guy inside was dead. Very scary I told the police what I saw but they told me to forget what I saw. They were very intimidating.”
Putin, The Man You Can Trust
It was reported that Vladimir Putin was visibly upset with the botched ending of the ceremony and he may have been out for blood. He stormed out of the stadium and took off in a helicopter before the media could ask him any questions.
The embarrassment of his nation could have been too much for him to handle.
“Putin loves Russia to death,” said Alexander Zhukov, the Russian Olympic Committee President. “He also loves accountability.”
While there has not been accountability from the contractors responsible for building the Olympic Village, the Ceremony was a world wide event for everyone to see. Putin may hold that to a higher level.
“If he feels the Ceremony reflects him, who knows what he’ll do to seek justice,” said Zhukov before part of a hotel ceiling crashed to the floor beside him. “All I know is Borris Avdeyev failed Russia and got what he deserved.” More of the hotel began to crumble and the interview had to be cut short.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

The victim fell on the knives? Almost sounds like thr Chicago detectives who did the Vanecko/Koschman case. Case closed!

Anonymous said...

The victim fell on the knives? Almost sounds like thr Chicago detectives who did the Vanecko/Koschman case. Case closed!

Anonymous said...

You're such a lying Fuck you Irish cunt stop blogging these lies fucking douchebag!

Sheldon Sartre said...

ROFL. Great send-up!

Lighten up, Francis. said...

This shit's hilarious, a bright twelve year old could tell its a put on.

Anonymous said...

You dummies know that the website is a satirical site right? It's funny no doubt, but at least read the original article.

Anonymous said...

I wish Putin would take over Chicago and fix all the cunts running this city.

The King of All Crackers said...

Putin for president he would call the south and west sites war zones and call for marshall law. Putin dislikes the promotion of gay lifestyle and that is great. I was watching the National Geographic channel and saw how they run the prisons in SIberia, it was brutal. I like Lighten up Francis.

Anonymous said...

Wish Garry McCarthy would do this to cpd. No more long lunches at Bourbon st.

Anonymous said...

fuckin love it! ROFLMAO

White Privilege Hillbilly said...

LOL!

Anonymous said...

Here is the Link to Russia Toughest Prisons, Like the previous poster said "it's brutal". Makes our prisons like a walk in the park.


http://youtu.be/K-v541WjMiE

Anonymous said...

This isn't true! Wish people would thoroughly check things out before passing it on.

Anonymous said...

Guy lafleur was a hockey player, not a bobsledder!!

Anonymous said...

Its a BS spoof piece folks.Its NOT true.

Anonymous said...

This story is A FAKE, taken from the Daily Currant, a satirical newspaper.
Read their about:
http://dailycurrant.com/about/

bobbi lynn said...

Yeah you're an uneducated idiot.. maybe you should just move to Russia.

bobbi lynn said...

You're an uneducated idiot. Move to russia.

Anonymous said...

That's why this site is such a BS racist piece of crap, it takes false info and spreads stories like its fact.

A. Son said...

Was the Olympic rings mishap meant to happen?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFHYhApoxAc&list=UUZgM8GYVFfda-MoYhY7e4qw&feature=c4-overview

A. Son said...

Was the Olympic rings mishap meant to happen?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFHYhApoxAc&list=UUZgM8GYVFfda-MoYhY7e4qw&feature=c4-overview

A. Son said...

Was the Olympic rings mishap meant to happen?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFHYhApoxAc&list=UUZgM8GYVFfda-MoYhY7e4qw&feature=c4-overview

Anonymous said...

This story is a hoax but is FUNNY!

http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/496963-man-responsible-for-olympic-ring-mishap-found-dead-in-sochi-is-satire-t-borris-avdeyev-not-stabbed/

Anonymous said...

In Boystown, you can fuck a dildo.

In Soviet Russia, dildo fuck you!

TO DEATH!

Anonymous said...

Те кто написал эту статью просто долбаебы которые пытаются хоть как то поднять свой рейтинг..! Самое прискорбное что некоторые животные в это верят...

Денис Рымша said...

скоро мы приедем к вам на наших боевых медведях. мухаха

Anonymous said...

AHH the good ole day's....Did someone call daley ??

Anonymous said...

Как же вы мало знаете о русских)) Смешно читать подобный бред) Очень повеселили...
PS Коментарий про медведей был не шуткой!

Anonymous said...

Like a dummy I believed it and told some people, now I feel really smarterer

Anonymous said...

Black Dolphin Prison is no joke.